Whilst reading, “Why you can’t project your energy online” by Dr Lisa Turner I realised why it is so important for some people to meet face to face.  For me personally it hasn’t been a big issue, in fact I love meeting people online and have great synergies with various people across oceans and continents, where we just click and connect.

Lisa explained that our body language, tone of voice and the way we interact with other people is all part of the bigger picture in us feeling connected and that we feel we don’t really know the person until we meet them face to face.  It is a very interesting read.

It finally made sense to me why most people feel it is so important to meet face to face and why they struggle to understand the concept of networking online and that developing any form of interaction with other human beings seems a foreign concept and is unacceptable.

So basically the need for people to meet face to face makes them feel secure in that they know who that someone is and by meeting face to face you would possibly make a judgement on whether they are acceptable to you, or not, by their behaviour and body language.  But what about people who are really good at what they do but lack social skills?  They don’t necessarily have charisma, don’t have communication skills and rather than attract people they might offend people.

Let’s look at some characters for instance like House on House, Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, Walter on Fringe, Christina on Greys or Chloe on 24.  All these people are exceptionally good at what they do and if you had to meet them face to face you possibly would not hire them for the job or even add them to your network all because they lack social skills and yet they might be the best person for the job.  I realise these are just TV characters but how many of us can identify with these characters and have actually met people like these in real life?

I know I definitely lack social skills.  I try hard not to be socially weird but the reality is, I am.  I tend to live in a world of my own.  Come across unfriendly at times.  I am blunt.  I say things unintentionally sometimes,  which tends to offend people and I have no idea that I’ve offended them and often I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong and more often than not people have completely misunderstood me.

Is this my fault, or is it their fault?  Actually I would say it is no one’s fault and maybe sometimes we tend to be too over sensitive and too analytic.   Just because someone does not communicate the way we do does this imply that they are rude or offensive or is it perhaps that we need to realise that they may just be on a different wave length and do not have the same social skills that you have.  Take your average so-called “Geeks.”  Although they are brilliant at what they do, they do not necessarily possess good social and communication skills.

Web 2.0 or better known as social media has changed my world.  In yesterday’s world if I started a business it would have been a complete failure because of my lack of social skills, inability to market myself or communicate effectively.   However, in today’s world starting a business is so much easier because in this online world  you can be yourself,  and networking is so much easier.   So, for the Walter’s, Christina’s Chloe’s and Sheldon’s of this world, it creates new opportunities and possibilities.

I’d like to know if there is anyone else out there who feels like I do, considered socially weird or nutty.  I would love to connect with you online.  I know there are many people who are really good at what they do but are often misunderstood for lack of social skills and you know what, you’re my kind of person.    DM me on Twitter @romanythresher or join me on Better Networking and we can be socially weird together.

3 Responses to I don’t communicate the way you do.

  • John Brandow says:

    Hi Romany. Interesting reading but I am totally not convinced that social media is the next big thing. I like to meet everyone I really get to interact with. I have not come across a single social media site that excites me anything like the personal interaction with people. I will easily on paper offend people whilst I will not do it in person. This most probably because I have very specific beliefs and views. I have specifics hates and loves and I will share it with everyone who wants to listen. For instance I hate MLM’s and most probably because of incidents we had with companies like (oops I nearly said it) That is exactly my point – I speak my mind easily on paper whilst if we were talking face to face we will easily agree to disagree and walk away from the subject.

    I have created personal face to face networks in my business that will easily get 50 people together for a breakfast. I do no like getting involved with clubs that meet regularly as this bores the hell out of me. Irregular meetings is stimulating. Just last year we went on a caravan tour with 23 other families (12 days in Kruger Park) and the interaction was really stunning!

    Your post and my comments has this in common : It shows how diverse people can think and still interact (even on paper like I just did)

    Have a splendid evening !

  • Romany Thresher says:

    Hi John you made me smile. I think social media is the next big thing. Yes, I agree you can definitely offend people on paper too and quite possibly a lot easier. We had a debate just the other day about bullies who hang out on a particular site who are really mean and nasty to other people.

    My social media experience is quite different to yours I have found a few sites which are interseting and have had excellent conversations on these sites but at the end of the day it is the people, a site is just a tool. There has been a bit of a dull turn of late, the other day we were thinking that Twitter may have lost its mojo but it is still a great place to meet new people and generate some great business.


  • Eve says:

    Hi John and Romany
    While I agree with both points of view, I can honestly say that I prefer to interact via social media. Yes, one can say something, online, that offends, but this then gives one the opportunity to explain yourself to the other person.
    However, face to face, one might not have the same opportunity as generally, I have found that people are, and can be more frank, when discussing issues online.
    I personally, have had situations where I have said something online that someone has taken offense, but when explaining myself, to this person, we have been able to understand more fully, where each person is coming from.
    I too, suffer from meeting people face to face and some might see me as aloof and maybe disinterested. Yet, it is only a case of being extremely shy but when I am online, I come out of my shell and can ramble on, like I am doing now. I would probably NEVER say these things “face to face”. And so, we miss out on saying what we really think and feel by not speaking out and this is why I think that social media is a “God send” to people like me. It gives me a platform to speak and I don’t have to be so afraid of sharing, with others, what’s on my mind. So I thank God for social media.. it gives me a voice on many different platforms that I would never otherwise have had. So I say “Long live social media!”

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