Whilst reading, “Why you can’t project your energy online” by Dr Lisa Turner I realised why it is so important for some people to meet face to face. For me personally it hasn’t been a big issue, in fact I love meeting people online and have great synergies with various people across oceans and continents, where we just click and connect.
Lisa explained that our body language, tone of voice and the way we interact with other people is all part of the bigger picture in us feeling connected and that we feel we don’t really know the person until we meet them face to face. It is a very interesting read.
It finally made sense to me why most people feel it is so important to meet face to face and why they struggle to understand the concept of networking online and that developing any form of interaction with other human beings seems a foreign concept and is unacceptable.
So basically the need for people to meet face to face makes them feel secure in that they know who that someone is and by meeting face to face you would possibly make a judgement on whether they are acceptable to you, or not, by their behaviour and body language. But what about people who are really good at what they do but lack social skills? They don’t necessarily have charisma, don’t have communication skills and rather than attract people they might offend people.
Let’s look at some characters for instance like House on House, Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, Walter on Fringe, Christina on Greys or Chloe on 24. All these people are exceptionally good at what they do and if you had to meet them face to face you possibly would not hire them for the job or even add them to your network all because they lack social skills and yet they might be the best person for the job. I realise these are just TV characters but how many of us can identify with these characters and have actually met people like these in real life?
I know I definitely lack social skills. I try hard not to be socially weird but the reality is, I am. I tend to live in a world of my own. Come across unfriendly at times. I am blunt. I say things unintentionally sometimes, which tends to offend people and I have no idea that I’ve offended them and often I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong and more often than not people have completely misunderstood me.
Is this my fault, or is it their fault? Actually I would say it is no one’s fault and maybe sometimes we tend to be too over sensitive and too analytic. Just because someone does not communicate the way we do does this imply that they are rude or offensive or is it perhaps that we need to realise that they may just be on a different wave length and do not have the same social skills that you have. Take your average so-called “Geeks.” Although they are brilliant at what they do, they do not necessarily possess good social and communication skills.
Web 2.0 or better known as social media has changed my world. In yesterday’s world if I started a business it would have been a complete failure because of my lack of social skills, inability to market myself or communicate effectively. However, in today’s world starting a business is so much easier because in this online world you can be yourself, and networking is so much easier. So, for the Walter’s, Christina’s Chloe’s and Sheldon’s of this world, it creates new opportunities and possibilities.
I’d like to know if there is anyone else out there who feels like I do, considered socially weird or nutty. I would love to connect with you online. I know there are many people who are really good at what they do but are often misunderstood for lack of social skills and you know what, you’re my kind of person. DM me on Twitter @romanythresher or join me on Better Networking and we can be socially weird together.